When you are friends first, you have a better chance of going the distance.
Since my husband and I were a long distance relationship before we got married, I can’t stress enough the importance of communication for every relationship.
The way our relationship even blossomed came from those conversations we had as “just friends.” As our talks became more and more frequent, it was inevitable that we would become boyfriend and girlfriend. We were always able to talk about anything as friends, as a new couple our rapport grew.
Spending time together on the weekends was very important to us because we knew that distance can make or break a relationship. Every weekend was about getting to know his parents and bonding with them as fellow couples, and then we had our own individual couple time too. I can’t deny it wasn’t exhausting. We were both working full-time jobs and I was going to graduate school in the evenings. You can imagine how traveling 80 miles round trip almost every weekend could drain a couple. Our love for each other didn’t suffer, but we found ourselves hurting during the weekdays because of the whiplash of going in and out of each others arms. It takes stamina of the heart and mind to go on with your day when you’re in a passionate long distance relationship.
What kept us going during the weekdays was the knowledge that we would be together again come Fridays after 5p.
I remember, after Geoff’s birthday in 2012, we had a couple nights that following week where we staid up till’ 5am on the phone talking. Come the weekend of September 8th, 2012 our anticipation was at a fever pitch.♡
What made this weekend so important was that he was going to be leaving for Hawaii next week and we wouldn’t be seeing each other for over 2 weeks. We had only been seeing each other for a month. This was a fragile time to introduce 3,960 extra miles of distance. So that weekend I wanted to make some unforgettable special memories before he left.
We did our usual Saturday night dinner out, chose Buca di Beppo as the restaurant to go to, and we watched a movie. The following day he made eggs benedict for me, we biked around his neighborhood; he showed me his elementary, junior high, and high schools. It was breathtaking weather all weekend. Later on Sunday we had some frozen yogurt cones under the blue sunny sky and shared kisses.
That night we innocently fell asleep side by side upstairs in his room, tired from all the outdoor activity.
I staid until Monday morning, kissed him goodbye and we promised that we wouldn’t let some 4,000 miles derail the journey we had started. Maybe we didn’t do anything out of the ordinary or unforgettable, but the feelings while doing those relatively regular things are what stay with you.
Geoffrey wrote to me everyday while he was away, it felt like we were never a part.
We took the art of love letters to another level.
I created a digital platform as a project for school based on what we were able to do.
The goal was to inspire other long distance couples and show them how to use technology to their advantage.
Those two weeks when Geoffrey was in Hawaii with his family really solidified our relationship because it inspired us to really show our commitment and our love for each other.
The Love is in the Letter website is no longer online, but it was a sincerely great forum where long distance couples could seek out advice from other couples and share their knowledge and stories.
Through our story we inspired other long distance couples to make the most out of their situation, and be creative with how they show their appreciation for one another. We shared our own correspondences over email, iMessage, and FaceTime, as well as poems, videos, and photos that captured how we overcame the distance. It was refreshing for a lot of people to see a young couple so old fashioned and yet so positively modern at the same time.
Our first year as a couple was very special, but each day since has been wonderful because we were best friends first. Even if you’re not best friends with your husband or boyfriend, communication is huge. Without commuication, there is no understanding, no intimacy, no trust, and therefore not a good foundation for a relationship. We have so much more in this day and age to help keep in touch and stay close and go the distance together.